Revising Argument, Organization, and Voice
Revision begins by considering the global level of your essay:
Revising Topic, Thesis and Organization
Take a break after you have written your first draft to see and judge the essay as a stranger would.
First, re-read the assignment instructions and consider the following questions:
- What is it that you were asked to do?
- Have you fulfilled all of the requirements?
- Why did you make the choices that you made?
- Highlight or underline your focused topic, research question, and thesis.
- Read the conclusion to ensure it presents a clear, consistent, cohesive message. Frequently, our ideas are clearer as we near the conclusion, so the argument may be more refined in this paragraph. Consider necessary revisions to your introduction based on your conclusion.
- In one or two sentences, summarize your argument and its purpose. Use this summary to assess the coherence and clarity of your message throughout your paper.
Reverse Outlines
Use the reverse outline to assess your whole draft.
- Have you provided sufficient and accurate evidence for each sentence in the reverse outline?
- Have you explained how each sentence in the reverse outline supports the thesis?
- Is your essay clearly and logically organized?
- Are there any gaps or irrelevant ideas that need to be addressed?
- Have you used transitions to show the relations between the major points you are making?
Ask "So what?"
- Ask “so what?” of your essay to assess your argument. Consider how to strengthen your thesis by explaining its significance to the topic or field of study. Use the Thesis Checklist for help.
- Ask "so what?" at the end of each paragraph. This can help you to see if you are supporting your thesis or simply listing information without making connections. This can also hope you to determine if a sentence or a paragraph is off topic. These two words, "so what?" help you to stay on track in your essay.
Revising Voice
Understand the conventions of scholarly discourse and strive to meet them:
- Formal tone
- Use of “I” or first-person singular
- Use of "you" or second-person
- Gender-neutral language
- Active voice
- Verb tense
Level of Formality
The Use of “I”
“I argue X is mistaken because…”
“X’s view is....However, I will argue that ….”
The Use of “you”
"It's rare in academic writing to address one's reader" rather than
"It's rare in academic writing to address your reader."
Gender-Neutral Language
Reduce gender bias in writing with thoughtful use of pronouns.
If you know the gender identity of the person you are writing about, use the appropriate pronoun when you refer to them (e.g., they, she, he, etc.).
Not acceptable (only male pronouns for unknown subject/antecedent): “an effective teacher provides clear feedback to his students”
Acceptable (appropriate pronoun to reflect known gender identity): “Elijah is an effective teacher who provides clear feedback to his students.”
To ensure your language is inclusive and equitable, avoid use of binary pronouns (‘his or her’) in reference to unknown subjects. Instead you can refer to the subjects by name or with the epicene, or gender-neutral “they” or “their.” In some instances, it will also work to pluralize subjects/antecedents where you use the pronoun “they.”
Not acceptable (binary pronouns for unknown subject/antecedent): “an effective teacher provides clear feedback to his or her students”
Acceptable (epicene/singular they): “an effective teacher provides clear feedback to their students.”
Acceptable plural form: "effective teachers provide clear feedback to their students."
Active/Passive Voice
Learn how to identify and edit passive voice.
The Historical Present
Examples of historical present:
In A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Bottom is a uniformly comedic figure.