Worrying how your student is going to fare as they make the transition to university life? You’re certainly in good company. Here’s a roundup of the top worries and concerns we hear from parents and supporters, along with a few reassuring words about each.
Worry: My student is going to lose touch.
What you need to know: The vast majority of students choose to stay in touch with their parents/supporters—although the frequency and mode of communication may change. Your relationship with your student still matters a lot. It’s important not to lose sight of that.
Worry: My student won’t like their university courses.
What you need to know: Hey, it happens. (Actually, it happens a lot. Approximately half of students end up switching to a different course of study along the way.) But instead of treating this academic pivot as a failure, embrace it as evidence that your student is doing exactly what they should be doing—exploring their academic interests and mapping out a path to a career that will be personally and professionally meaningful for them.
Worry: My student won’t make friends.
What you need to know: Trent is a warm and caring community—and there are all kinds of opportunities for students to forge friendships in the classroom and beyond. Tip: One of the best ways to meet other people is by signing up for an activity you’re passionate about. If your student finds it difficult to make friends and would benefit from a little extra coaching or support, encourage to make an appointment with a counselor, speak to their residence don if they live in residence, or to reach out for other types of support on campus.
Worry: My student will make too many friends!
What you need to know: As we were saying, Trent is a warm and caring community—which can make it a very social environment for many students. Your student might be tempted to go a little overboard in the friendship department initially (preferring to socialize as opposed to hitting the books), but the first set of marks tends to act as a reality check, reminding them that academics matter too. Bottom line? In most cases, this particular problem takes care of itself, after the first few whirlwind weeks.
Worry: My student will be disappointed.
What you need to know: You can help to minimize your student’s feelings of disappointment by helping them to have realistic expectations of university life. (It will be hard work. There will be times when your student is frustrated or discouraged. And so on….) You can also encourage them to treat any feelings of disappointment they experiences as valuable messages they can act upon in order to make their life better. For example, if your student is disappointed in the mark they receive on their first test, they can hunker down and study a little harder or seek assistance from their professor, their academic advisor, or an academic skills instructor.
Worry: Bad things will happen.
What you need to know: Bad things will happen, but, in most cases, they are relatively minor “bad things” in the big picture of things, like getting a disappointing mark on an assignment or experiencing a falling out with a roommate or a friend. And learning to deal with these types of frustrations and disappointments will help your student to learn and grow and become stronger and more resilient. That said, your student does need to know that they can turn to you and others for support in dealing with the tough stuff; that having a caring person to talk to helps to make the bad stuff a little less bad….
Worry: My student will change beyond all recognition and will no longer need me.
What you need to know: Your student is likely to change. University is, after all, a life-changing experience and an incredible opportunity for self-discovery and self-growth. So don’t be surprised if they show up with a radically different haircut and/or a totally new group of friends. That’s pretty much par for the course. And while you’re relationship is inevitably evolving, that doesn’t mean you’re no longer needed. In fact, your student may need you more than ever—just in different ways. So while you should expect your relationship to change, try not to see that as a bad thing. Treat it as a sign of relationship health: you’re growing and changing together.